Questions about love, sex or relationships can be submitted to dearkiki@littlevillagemag.com, or anonymously using this form. Questions may be edited for clarity and length, and may appear either in print or online.
Dear Kiki,
Is there a social “statute of limitations” on when you can use an old relationship for comedy fodder? I happened to hear that an ex of mine used some details from our relationship for an open mic and I felt a little hurt, but the friend who told me said that it shouldn’t matter since the relationship was only a year and it was a year and a half ago that we broke up. Is my friend right? Am I right to be hurt? Should I reach out?
Comedy Fodder
Dear Comedy Fodder,
What a lousy situation! Never date a comedian, amirite readers? Except. It’s never that easy, is it? (Some of them are just so darned charming!)
You ask, “Am I right to be hurt?” Fodder, I have to address that first because YES. I want to make absolutely clear that this is a question that must always be answered yes, no matter the situation. Because your heart is yours alone, and there is not a single person in this world with the wisdom, knowledge or perspective to tell you that something you are feeling is “wrong.” It’s how you feel. End of.
What you do about those feelings is another story entirely. And, to be quite honest, Fodder, unless you want to be the subject of a follow-up series of jokes, it’s probably not in your best interest to reach out. If you and your ex are still close, you can let them know casually that the choice hit you wrong. But if you don’t really talk, don’t make this the reason you do. Your ex is not entitled to your pain. Chalk it up to one more reason to be glad you’re ex, not current, and move on to someone whose definitions of kindness and compassion are more aligned with your own.
xoxo, Kiki
This article was originally published in Little Village’s June 2024 issue.